Nopesport

We have an early, as yet unconfirmed report from supersaint -
"1st round Men - Craney wins by bloody miles after noticing that the unpassable crag was in fact a mere slope, myself, Jimbob and Little Sprot all go round and lose loads of time. Uncle Dickie scrapes through by the skin of teeth in about 15th place!

1st round Women - Rach E wins by quite a bit, Kathy came in 2nd (or maybe 3rd) in front of some ex-GB Junior squad girls, followed by Becks C and Tessa. Wasnt paying too much attention tho so positions may have been different.

Mens Semi-Final - Dickie, Craney, Jimbob and Little Rob all somehow manage to get the same loop so cane it round together, but James went astray somewhere and was nowhere to be seen at the finish (despite finishing 2nd in Round 1). On the other loop myself and Nails came through halfway together, i fucked up, Nails beat me in to get the 4th place. Later turns out he didn't punch the last control despite going to it (rules are rules!) so i luckily scrape into final.

Womens Final - Rach E absolutely whups ass and comes in about 5 mins clear, having lapped Kathy. Becks comes in 2nd, Tess 3rd, Kathy DNF

Men's Final - Craney whups ass due to his change of kit - out of the SHUOC top, into the Italian football top. Works wonders, as he wins by nearly a minute. Dickie 2nd, me about 20 sces behind, Little Rob a couple of mins behind.

Note: all times are exceedingly approximate, CUOC's organisation was not the best ever seen (details sent out on Thursday, directions sent out Friday afternoon!) so the chances of seeing results this week i would say are rather slim."

However, it has become apparent that Tess was actually second and Becks was third. Absolute results will be posted when they filter through to us.

On the Elite Alc-o, the story from supersaint goes like this -
"Elite alc-o had a rather large entry from SHUOC, with over half running, Leeds team was myself and Niall the not-so-evil Irish Leprechaun, Andy Powell and Beany went as a tag team, and various other randoms, including Ash Bown in a full monkey costume!

Drink 1 - Pims and Coke
Nails downs it in an astounding time, closely followed by Niall, the monkey, Craney, Petey and myself. The map turns out to be an actualy o-map this yr (Cambridge must be going soft), so it's very easy for the front runners to get a good lead.

Drink 2 - pint of Strongbow
Craney and Nails fight it out, Niall just behind, followed by the monkey

Drink 3 - pint of Skol lager
Once again, Nails sets off in the lead, Craney kicks in on the running part (each loop was nearly a km) and comes back first from the 2nd run, but Nails yet again heads off in the lead. Niall still in touch, myself now caught up the monkey, but start feeling ill, so pass half my drink to Sprot.

Drink 4 - pint of Best bitter
Same as before, Craney and Nails looking pretty equal, Niall still just behind, the Nottingham pair of Bean and Powell making their tag tactics work to some use and overtake myself and the monkey. Crane, Northrop and Bourke all take tactical chunders within seconds of heading off on final loop, much to the delight of the watching crowd.

Drink 5 - pint of punch
Tactical route choice from Craney on the last loop gives him a good lead into the finish, and necked the punch in 1 go to take his 2nd title of the day. Nails thinks he's got 2nd place in the bag, but Niall the not-so-evil Irish Leprechaun sneeks in and finishes the punch in style to get the ideal position of the day. Nixon takes the leading non-chundering position (i know that's not the point of the elite alc-o, but i hate being sick!)

The social
A bit of a cock-up from someone, there's not enough seats booked in the curry house, but everyone just about manages to squeeze in. Andy Powell plus girlfriend arrive a lot later than everyone else, for one exceedingly amusing reason.
On the way to the curry house, most people need to go to the toilet, especially those who competed in the elite Alc-o, so Andy pops off to take a slash, thinks, hmm, these bushes will do, but better go out of sight, don't want to be rude or anything. So he takes a few steps forward, turns around, hmm, just that little but further...SPLASH!!!! he walks straight into the River Cam. So after pleading with Beany to drag him out (apparently he couldn't actually touch the bottom) he goes home to get changed again.
So, the social. Same shocking place as last year, different shocking DJ. Not a 50-yr old bat, some student - could be quite good we say. So after the first song finishes, he goes straight into...nothing...still nothing...aha, the next song. yep, we have another non-mixing DJ just playing a soundtrack off his computer.
So to make sure that there was still some entertainment Craney rather begrudgingly heads off to receive his prize for winning Elite Alc-o, and then proceeds to finish it off in one go, 33 seconds for the whole bottle of wine - nice work!
After this, Leeds Uni take the dancefloor, determined to be better than SHUOC at one thing throughout the day, and boy they won. After nearly an hour of hardcore gyrating a very select few from Sheffield and Cambridge join in - top moves displayed by Niall and Petey!
The social rather abruptly finished at 1130, uproar ensued, on to a club they say. No chance of that - we're in Cambridge!
So, no hospitalisation, no late nite antics, bloody hell, there weren't even any random pulls!!! "
What? No young girls for you this time supersaint. We at nopesport.com find that hard to believe.
See some photos from the comp at our gallery, or alternatively their are some at http://www.ceeej.co.uk/cambridge_sprint-o.htm