Nopesport

So it all started with a warm-up-pre-weekend drink or two at the Ball, Crookes. Friday night at closing saw a ‘sober’ brisk walk home with a bag of chips under me arm.

A crisp icy morning started the weekend proper, and 70-80 people headed to the famous Ecclesall woods for the annual SPOOK (that’s Sheffield Postgraduate Occasional Orienteering Club) vs ShUOC Relay Races.

The format is 6 legs taking it in turns between two people, and 4 legs for the girls. The second loop maps were lacking all of the paths, in an attempt to confuse- some commented it was actually easier. Also the map had the genius line at the bottom.. “Possession of this map does not imply you can orienteer.” Well done to James Grey, a sterling effort.

It hoped to be a fine race with some of Britain’s best elite athletes turning up. In the end it was hotly contested, with Craney and Sprotty, just beating UncleDickie and Jules S. In the ladies race Helen W and Karen D won to put SPOOK in the lead for the weekend.

After that it was home to get cleaned up, before heading out for the evening. The 35th Anniversary of ShUOC. Usually SPOOK have the meal without ShUOC, but because they are nice we were also invited. The evening started with either a pint or two (five?) then a meal which was “ok.” Then the chocolate cake + cream came out, and then the meal was “good.”

Speeches included a history of ShUOC through the ages, with highlights including Uncledickie, Tim Tett, Hayman, Petey and James F, to mention just a few. There seemed to a trend to take photos of your arse back then.
Then we were treated to a BBC(?) production from 15 yrs(?) ago starring Tim T, with his youthful flowing locks and cheeky grin.

Continued with beer, and staggered after Petey on way home, got delayed at somebody’s(?) house, drink, continued in direction of home, another party, more drink, icy, home, necessary cheese toasty, bed.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm calling to me to go and spectate the SPOOK vs ShUOC footy match….turned alarm off….turned over…woke up again hours later…woops. Finally it turns out that we won the football, the first time in years...they’ve got some good players, and we have mr Crane. Turns out that having mr Crane on your team is good, he scores 2 goals. Score in last minute 4-4 until goal disallowed drama allows winning goal to be scored….5-4 to ShUOC….it won’t be forgotten.

At the same time… Marsden to Edale Fellrace, bit of a long one, good times from Tim T(2nd) and Andy M (4th)….was this important in ShUOC winning the football?

Home again for a wash up, then off to the infamous “Nottingham House” home of……Captain’s Memorial. Donations by SPOOK members ensure the bar is pilled with beer all night. I think they employed a lad all night just to pour pints.

SPOOK vs ShUOC beer races ensued, we got slaughtered, beaten by SPOOK second team….there seems to be lots of closet downers in ShUOC…when you ask them if they can down a pint they say no….and then proceed to do one rather well when they collect a prize later on in the night.

Prizes were then presented by petey…highlights being Eternal Youth Award (Dickie ‘uncle’ Wren) and the Wayward Award (Rob ‘awol’ Little), and Andy ‘kidneys’ Middleditch, struggling to down his second pint.

After that more drinking ensued…I got drunk enough to agree to the yard. Crushed Craneys time set at BUSA last year. However 2min10sec is not fastest time in ShUOC…Hayman holds it with 1min20sec….anyone? Well not me that’s the last time I’m ever going to drink. I think the kitty was about a grand, and that got drunk… say no more. Lovely bar staff don’t chuck us out until 12 which is nice.

No party tonight as no venue available, or stupid enough to let us in. Kebab and food poisoning from Millennium Takeaway ensues. Buy moor beer in tins. Hand freezes to can on way home. Not late tonight…good.

Monday get up early for meeting at uni….five mins late…meetings over…go home….go back to bed. Lots of after-weekend golf on Monday, only one good score coming from the frozen fairways…87 by Chappers…Craney and Jimbob well over the 100 mark.

Anyways a wicked weekend, everyone’s feeling fat and lazy, but we’ve got a sprint race this afternoon so better go and get ready…

Nails.